My foot started cramping as the minutes passed. It was tucked under my legs as I lounged on the couch, wishing everything away. He sat next to me; the piles of papers and books falling from his lap. It was near midnight. And that was when I sighed. We’d been there—same position—for over five hours. And I learned, like, nothing. At all.
“I hate English. Can we please call it quits? Please, I’m begging you.” I asked tiredly.
He laughed softly, stretching his back across the arm rest. “Lauren! You mean, you don’t find this fun?”
I rolled my eyes, “Oh yeah. No, Josh, sorry. Guess I don’t have the brain capacity of you cuz all this was in one ear and out the other.”
“Yeah, well, I guess if we don’t know it now, we’ll never know it. Might as well sleep.”
“Hallelujah.” I whispered, letting a relieved smile slide onto my face. But I didn’t move; I was too tired. I just closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
“So…should I go?”
He looked over at me awkwardly and I laughed.
“Sorry, I’m just tired.”
He nodded, biting his lip. “Ya, the drooling on the couch sorta gave that away.”
I hit him, laughing.
“Funny. At least I don’t keep looking at the kitchen as if I’m gonna die if I don’t get food this second.”
He chuckled. “That noticeable?”
I nodded, standing slowly and falling into a stretch. “Do you want something to eat?”
He stood, “Not to impose…but yes.”
I smiled, nudging him. “It’s fine. My mom would die if you left here hungry. She totally loves you.”
“Ah, yes. The only one in this house who does.”
“Well, can you really blame my dad? I mean, your family moves in, he goes over to say hi and you sick your bulldog on him.”
I could hardly say it without laughing. Josh just blushed.
“I seriously thought he was gonna kill me! He’s huge and he was practically charging at me. It was…instinctual.”
I just laughed, opening some cabinets and looking for any sort of munchies.
“But is he the only one? Who hates me, I mean?”
I glanced over at him, my forehead crinkling. “Well, there’s Balderdash. But he hates everyone.”
“Oh yes, the dog.” He said with a twinkle. His eyes always twinkled—even when he was mad.
“But is that it?” He continued, keeping his eyes on me, “Do you hate me like your dad…or do you love me—like your mom?”
I blushed, turning quickly away.
“Not in a weird way or anything.” he added quickly. “Just curious.”
I chuckled nervously. “Always curious, huh?”
He didn’t laugh. In fact, he didn’t do anything but look at me; his eyes twinkling. I didn’t know why.
We stood for a moment; him just staring, and me, blushing.
“So, what’s on the menu?” he asked finally, slipping onto one of the barstools.
I stuttered, confused and…flustered. “Well, we have peanut butter and…peanut butter.”
He laughed, “Okay then. I’m good with that. As long as it’s chunky.”
I gasped, “Of course! Only real peanut butter.”
“Isn’t that a bit of an oxymoron?”
I scowled, “No more English, kay? And you’re the one who asked for it.”
“I know, I know. I was just…quoting something. I’m surprised you don’t remember. …Sara’s pool party.”
I stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Duh! That little five year old after the food fight. He told your mom that he had oxymoron goo all over him. How could I forget? It was you who got the peanut butter out, huh? And you pretty much threw it all over him when he said he didn’t like it cuz you can’t have chunky butter.” I laughed, digging my spoon into the peanut butter. Sara was his little sister; we had been baby-sitting.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling, “You swore you’d never forget.”
I rolled my eyes, “Well that was nearly three years ago. We were like, what, fifteen. Hey—that was the same day your swimsuit flew off as you jumped from the diving board!”
He groaned, blushing under my laugh. “That, however, you swore you’d never mention.”
“Right.” I laughed. “Well, what good are promises if you can’t break them.”
“Ooo! deep!” he laughed, licking his spoon clean. “Sure your parents appreciate that theory.”
I nodded. And it went strangely quiet. Both of us were focused on swallowing.
“So,” josh said after a moment, “What are more promises we can or have broken?”
I thought for a moment. “How ‘bout how you promised me you’d pay me back for those concert tickets.”
“Oh!” he groaned, “Low blow, Lauren! Geez! well, what about you? You promised me you’d never kiss Jake. And—boom—first date, he got you.”
I gasped, “Man, josh. You are ruthless. Besides, I told you, he’s the one who kissed me. I nearly killed myself after. Pity date gone horribly wrong, remember.”
He just laughed, his eyes twinkling like mad. “Yes, well, I still think it’s funny.”
“Besides, why did it matter so much to you? You pretty much made me write in my own blood that I wouldn’t kiss him.”
He didn’t respond, just quickly thrust his spoon in his mouth. I watched him for a moment, surprised by his silence. He was never quiet; and never without a comeback.
“Well what about ones we still have to break?” he asked, avoiding my eyes. He put the spoon down, pushing the jar of peanut butter away.
I looked at him, surprised at how he totally avoiding what I’d said. but he just waited for me to respond.
“Well, we promised we would pass this test.”
He laughed, “Good one. Totally positive, too.”
I rolled my eyes. “What about you? You’ve got a promise you’re dying to break?”
He looked down, and then straight at me. It took me back; surprised me. And I found I couldn’t breathe. That’s when I realized just how close we were. Our knees were touching under the counter; his hand just by mine on the counter. I could almost smell the peanut butter on his breath.
“How ‘bout when I promised I’d never kiss a girl I didn’t absolutely love?”
I stared at him, suddenly nervous. Especially since he leaned closer.
“Well, who you got in mind, cowboy?” I asked, trying desperately to laugh. But he ignored me.
“Or, how we’d just be friends?”
Suddenly his face was hardly an inch away from mine; his eyes were sparkling again. I still couldn’t breathe. My eyes even closed. And his voice turned to a whisper. A spine tingling, total breathtaking whisper.
“How do those sound?”
I swallowed, my eyes still closed. “Good.” I whispered, losing all control as he sunk closer.
I could feel him—it was the only sense that was working. I could feel his hand slip gently around my neck, pulling me closer. I felt his thumb slowly graze my cheek, his other hand reaching my other one. I could feel his breath dance across my face. I felt my heart stop; I felt myself shiver. And then he kissed me. And I felt that.
It was as if the whole world started to twinkle and I finally felt at home. Everything seemed to be right; everything was as it should be. It was as if, in that tiny moment, years of being friends finally made sense. It was all for that single kiss. That one, beautiful tirade of broken promises. And all I could do was smile. But it was enough, because he still kissed me.
